Ever get the urge to punch someone? Square in their smug jaw? We all do – and most of us manage to suppress it. Even with the wind versus gas versus nuclear debate, no-one in the energy sector has come to blows yet.
Having said that, it’s not hard to imagine Energy Secretary Ed Davey strongly fighting that urge after dim-wit – or do I mean dim-watt? – David Cameron’s off-the-cuff remark on energy bills in the Commons yesterday.
It has resulted in unnecessary distraction from what should be the last few weeks of solid concentration on getting the Energy Bill into a state fit for general consumption.
It has also given Labour’s Shadow Energy Secretary Caroline Flint ammunition to accuse the Coalition of a “Thick of It”-style gaffe. In the wake of party conference season the political point-scoring is understandable, but not especially helpful when the Opposition could be raising pointed, helpful questions about other important issues.
I’m not saying that low energy bills aren’t a good aim for British customers; nor am I saying the Big Six have helped counter their image as a “cartel” with the recent swathe of price hikes.
What I am saying is this: David Cameron deserves a tongue-lashing and a stint in the naughty chair: appropriate, given his imbecilic behaviour.
On the cusp of the largest piece of energy policy in decades, he goes around throwing out phrases like, “I can announce we will be legislating”. Before “energy companies have to give the lowest tariff to their customers”.
Even a kindergartener knows that’s a bad idea.
Just because you’ve got the initials PM before your name, Dave, you don’t have the right to make up policy willy nilly. If Malcolm Tucker were on the scene, you would be up to your neck in a pile of obscenity-laced spittle.
So on behalf of Ed Davey, tongue-tied by Coalition comradeship – and everyone from power firms, environmental campaigners and plants – I say to you, David William Donald Cameron: Go to your room and think long and hard about what you’ve done.